The hideous and sexist Newsweek column on Taylor Swift that's currently going viral for all the wrong reasons – in which Taylor is castigated for being a bad role model for young girls because at 34, she is unmarried, childless and has had over 12 relationships in a few years – has erupted a rollercoaster of emotions in me.

These range from fury, to depression, to actual belly laugh-out-louds-in-disbelief.

But ultimately, it's left me with the acute realisation of something that I have been banging on about – and experiencing – for years: our society is singlist.

And more especially, our society is singlist towards women without children.

There are many ‘hot takes’ to be had from Mr John Mac Ghilionn’s Newsweek bile.

For example: Why, say, is Leonardo DiCaprio (who lest we forget, was expertly eviscerated in Swift’s 2019 hit song, The Man) not attacked for being a bad role model? Here’s a global superstar, 15 years Taylor’s senior who is unmarried, childless and probably currently on holiday with his latest 20-something girlfriend – of which he has had about a gazillion of in the past decade. Sure, people raise eyebrows and make jokes about his age-gap girlfriends, but I can't see column inches in respected magazines devoted to him being a bad role model.

Here’s another hot take: let’s all ignore Mac Ghilionn’s sad, pathetic, patronising and deeply patriarchal nonsense, shall we? It’s clearly aimed to be provocative. How can we take this kind of sentiment – “While Swift's musical talent and business acumen are certainly admirable, even laudable, we must ask if her personal life choices are ones we want our sisters and daughters to emulate?” – seriously? Just. Awful.

But here’s another hot take, this one based on my personal experience: John Mac Ghilionn’s opinion is actually worth paying attention to, because he is giving a voice to society’s still-very-real fear of single women. And especially, single women without children. He is revealing a depressing reality that I experience all the time, and that is that women are still constantly judged by their marital and reproductive status. Fact.

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And it’s dangerous, because it’s giving oxygen to the resurgence of far-right politics currently sweeping across Europe and America with their limiting views on women’s role in society and ownership of their own bodies.

I didn’t want to write this article, because since turning 40 (three and half years ago), I swore off writing about my personal life, having spent over a decade in women’s magazines – often penning first-person pieces about being single. At first, I revelled in it (“OMG, I’m Carrie Bradshaw!") But slowly I became depressed that, as the years were advancing – and so too, you would hope, attitudes towards single women would be – articles about being single were still seen as a novelty and not the norm. Even in feminist magazines.

These articles were almost always commissioned through the lens of: “ooh, let me live vicariously through you and your wild, crazy, sex life, because as awful as my relationship is, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in your shoes!” OR, conversely, “You must be sad, lonely and miserable because you are single and childless, so please write about it.”

All this, despite the fact that single women are the fastest growing demographic, with 45% of women predicted to be single and childless by 2030. And the fact that there is recent research that states that single women without kids are happier than married women with kids.

But last summer, I fell in love with a wonderful man, my most serious relationship in over a decade. And due I think perhaps to my advancing years, all anyone now wants to know is whether I am going to have a baby. It’s extraordinary. Chat has switched from interrogating me about which dating apps I am on to bombarding me with information about fertility supplements and IVF.

I know this is all well-meaning, but it is a lot of pressure, both for me and my boyfriend. But it also reveals the deep-rooted desire amongst society and humankind that we must, as women, procreate. And that women without kids – or who don’t want kids – are seen as an anomaly, like there’s something wrong with them. Single women and those without children are not allowed to just exist.

And is it any wonder?

In our society, rarely is being single – or single and child-free – celebrated. Just look at the two current most popular TV shows on our screens: Netflix’s behemoth that is Bridgerton (see here my feelings about the sexist, singlist messaging behind that one) and Love Island.

Both shows are designed to brainwash us into thinking that the only way to be happy in life is to be paired off with a partner. Bridget Jones is even back, for god’s sake! Yup, the ultimate ‘90’s ‘to-be-single-is-to-die -alone-eaten-by-Alsatians' poster girl, is being resurrected, with Renee Zellweger currently filming the fourth movie in the franchise. (And yes, Bridget’s had two babies, but still, in my eyes she was a toxic single relic from the past who should have stayed in the past.)

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Even Taylor Swift herself is rarely single and actively promotes being in a relationship: case in point, parading Travis Kelce on stage at Wembley last week. Amongst the Swiftie stans, all anyone can speculate about is whether she and Travis will be having kids soon.

And rising alongside this, the status of motherhood has become almost fetishised. Motherhood is now a badge of honour for ‘women who can have it all!’ The messaging – and it is deafening – is that you have not fully completed the assault course that it is to be a woman unless you’ve procreated.

And this is coupled with the booming business of motherhood that has exploded in recent years: baby showers, baby moons, motherhood influencers. Actual uniforms have emerged, jumpers and jewellery with ‘Mama’ emblazoned all over them. It's incredibly alienating for those who don't have children.

Then there’s the massive rise of the ‘Tradwife’ on TikTok – women shunning careers and independence to devote themselves to a life of servitude to husband and family in the manner of a 1950’s housewife.

And despite the single, child-free woman being such a rapidly growing demographic, where is the messaging from our political leaders trying to win our vote in the run up to this week’s general election?

Single women are penalised financially due to the gender pay gap. It is almost impossible to get on the housing ladder – and holidays, eating out and accommodation are more expensive. And often single, child-free women find themselves picking up the slack at work for their colleagues with children.

Listen, I know and understand from my many friends who have kids that it’s certainly not easy for modern mothers. It’s by no means a walk in the park and I am in no way diminishing the problems and stresses that come with the juggle of being a parent today (I watch Motherland and feel smug).

I also of course understand that when an individual becomes a parent, one’s life is so completely, fundamentally changed, that I'd imagine it’s very hard to recognise or relate to a life without children.

I would love to say let’s hope that the joyous, empowering messaging of Taylor’s music, ingrained in the brains of millions of Gen Z and Gen Alpha Swifties will rise up and drown out the likes of Mr Mac Ghilionn’s sexist views. But as long as society keeps putting so much onus on a woman’s status being directly related to her marital and reproductive choices and circumstances, I doubt that will happen.

In the meantime, might I recommend you listen to Taylor’s The Man, to not only understand why she is the genius powerhouse that she is, but also to see how she – five years ago – so perfectly identified and lampooned the sexist double standards that Mr Mac Ghillionn’s Newsweek column so expertly exemplifies.

For more from GLAMOUR's Assistant Editor and Entertainment Director, Emily Maddick, follow her on Instagram @emilymaddick.

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